SP:
Lest you think this blog will merely be used as tool to promote an "Americans know how it's done, the rest of the world is just plain weird" ideal, Anna and I are ready, willing, and frequently do make fun of other Americans (affectionately dubbed "Members of the Tribe"). A trip to the Louvre offered us a golden opportunity to demonstrate our equal opportunity mockery.
The day began modestly enough with the two of us scrambling to make it to our tour group's meeting point before the 8:30 am arrival time. The voucher said to be there at that time for a prompt 8:45 departure. Nevermind that it's now 9:15 and we're still sitting outside in the cold. The tour operator informs us that we're missing some members. We say leave 'em. Ok, we say it quietly, and to ourselves. No one hears our discontented mutterings lest WE seem uncharitable. Or cranky. Or rude.
Finally, the tour gets underway as we're introduced to our tour guide, Isabella. Isabella earns our respect, and hearts, immediately by responding to a participant's comment that a passing group of rowdy (read: loud) children are just children with a vehement, only-the-Parisians-could-be-so-severe, "Gnomes!" We like Isabella. We like her a lot!
Into the Louvre we go, where Isabella promises not only to show us great works of art, but also a McDonalds and a Starbucks! She's not kidding either. While not actually IN the Louvre, they are situated in the shopping mall attached to the Louvre. Our tour's collection of Aussies, Kiwis, Japanese, and other nationalities start eyeballing the Americans with a pitying look, as if to say "Wow, you guys just can't help yourselves, can you?" But in our defense, French authorities obviously had to ok the leasing of rental space to these companies, and what the hell is a shopping mall doing attached to the Louvre anyway?
The tour was really just a highlights tour, with the boldly stated goal of showing us the key pieces to the Louvre's vast collection. This meant we got to see the Wing'd Victory (wow... the wolves really went to town on the poor Parthenon, huh?), Venus di Milo, and a painting that almost inspired me to scream "Hey! That's the cover art to Coldplay's Viva la Vida! I know that one!" à la any less-than-cultured American. We were also treated to the Mona Lisa and the crowds in front of the Mona Lisa. The poor thing sits on a wall all by it's lonesome, which really just makes it seem smaller than it is. Which is why tourists always seem to claim it's the size of a postage stamp (it's not) and the resulting crowd is ridiculous (it is).
But the best moment of the tour was inspired by a relatively lesser known work of art. By this time we had noted the presence of a couple in our little group. Touring the Louvre was obviously not the guy's Thing, and he was there with the expressed purposed of pleasing his girlfriend. He just looked like he was dying for a beer, and maybe, just maybe, a match. No Louvre = no duty, right? Anyway, Isabella brings us to a statue that she claims has the best bum in the museum. Lying there in sculpted glory, is the most beautiful woman one could imagine.
This was clearly Aphrodite, or at the very least Helen of Troy. Someone who deserved to be worshipped on grounds of beauty alone. Isabella then said this demi-goddess was also the biggest surpise. Indeed. For when you walked to the other side of the prone form, the onlooker was greeted with... well, something that decided belonged to a male. Isabella then informed us this was Hermaphroditus. Well, we all tittered at our mistake and went to walk away. All except for the Boyfriend. He was agog. You could practically see the computer screen saying "Does Not Commute." He said as much to Girlfriend. The obviously more cultured of the two, she (and Anna) jumped in to explain that 1.) yes, this was a real condition, 2.) yes, it still happened. Boyfriend obviously thought some kind of joke was being played. Perhaps Ashton Kutcher was about to run out and yell "PUNKED!" At this point, Girlfriend (with more than a little bit of scorn) asks how he didn't learn this in college. In complete deadpan, Boyfriend announces "Michigan doesn't have hermaphrodites." Since neither Girlfriend, Anna, nor I can refute this statement, we decided to drop the whole issue. You might not be correct Boyfriend, but well played, sir!
AW:
We decided to abandon the area around the Louvre for lunch seeing as it was overrun so we headed down through the Tuilleries towards the Champs Elysee. Gorgeous gardens, lots of REALLY FAT pigeons. They actually had trouble getting off of the ground (the pigeons obviously, not the garderns); we only laughed a little...I can't even describe the size of these mutant pigeons, they're about the same size as those freakishly sized ravens at the Tower of London. Okay, enough about the pigeons that you don't care about. We found a little restaurant in the Tuilleries and decided to eat there so we could continue to mock the pigeons.
After our lunch we decided to wander down the Champs Elysee to find La Duree, yet another Eleanor recommendation, for macaroons. We took several detours (stupid signs pointing us in the wrong directions!) Once we found our way back to the Champs Elysee, following the road that dead ends into the Arc de Triomph, we found the macaroon mecca, La Duree, after a short visit the the local bank to empty our accounts. But luckily enough, at the bank, (BNP Paribus on the Champs Elysee) Steph found her husband! Unfortunately, I didn't get a glimpse as I was trying to explain in poorly broken French ( a language I obviously don't speak) and then kindergarten English, that I wanted to know how much cash I could withdraw from an ATM in one day. As I was doing this, Steph spotted her future husband at his desk in the bank: tall, blonde, Gallic perfection!!!! In addition, he wore a suit, quite well from my understanding since I didn't get a glimpse. We figured it would be too obvious if I went back into the bank to get a look (not at all like the obvious look we gave my future husband but he happened to notice us looking, we'll get into that later...). So I had to hold Steph off from crossing the street to Tiffany's, purchasing rings, and returning to propose. I didn't think Papa and Mama Pappas would have approved of me letting Steph propose to the first good-looking guy she finds on the trip. I mean, we still have seven or eight weeks to go and we do know where he works, we can always return. We thought she should keep her options open. Plus, Papa Pappas might have already promised multiple goats for Steph in Greece and it would look bad to break the contract...
Okay, back to La Duree. As Eleanor had promised, we didn't eat at the actual restaurant as we would have had to sell our firstborns in order to even get a table, we went inside an waited in the long line dedicated to the most delicious looking conconctions ever known to man. We were drooling so much we forgot to take pictures to share with everyone else. Sorry. So these macaroons come in a mulitude of different flavors, vanilla, chocolate, coffe, caramel, mint, pistachio, rose, orange blossom, blackcurrent violet, raspberry, cherry, and much more. These are buttery, flakey, cookies about the size of silver dollars that sandwich a filling of the same flavor...absolutely delicious!
With our stash secured, we continued our walk down the Champs Elysee towards the Arc to discover we would be risking our lives in attempting to cross the traffice circle in order to reach the bottom of the Arc de Triomphe so we were both satisfied with looking at it from across the street from the relative safety of the curb. We decided to wander a bit and just wandered around the streets of Paris for awhile. When we decided our feet hurt a little too much for even our comfort, we found the closest Metro station and went back to the Hostel for a nap.
After our nap we headed out for dinner in the opposie direction from the night before and once again became convinced that in order to eat French food for dinner we would have to take out more student loans in order to pay for dinner, so we ate Italian, again. The place was good, not as good as Renato's. The enjoyment of the evening was capped off by the fact that France was playing Mexico in the World Cup. The entire restaurant was turned to watch the massacre unfold. We were definitely rooting for the French... however, they didn't live up to expectations. I must say, the French took the loss, and the subsequent knowledge that they wouldn't advance, much better than we thought. Thank the good baby Jesus that we weren't in England when they tied Algeria 0-0, talk about not taking it well...
Isabella's Top 5 Quotes:
5. And here, we have the best bum in the entire museum.
4. While you take a toilet break, I'll go get the tickets. I'll be back... or not.
3. Napoleon was very fond of traveling. Especially with his army. And he liked to bring back souvenirs.
2. -They're just children
- GNOMES!
1. (about Louvre security) If you have knives, guns, bombs... put them in your pocket. They check the bag, not the person.
That last one turned out to be quite true.
Lest you think this blog will merely be used as tool to promote an "Americans know how it's done, the rest of the world is just plain weird" ideal, Anna and I are ready, willing, and frequently do make fun of other Americans (affectionately dubbed "Members of the Tribe"). A trip to the Louvre offered us a golden opportunity to demonstrate our equal opportunity mockery.
Finally, the tour gets underway as we're introduced to our tour guide, Isabella. Isabella earns our respect, and hearts, immediately by responding to a participant's comment that a passing group of rowdy (read: loud) children are just children with a vehement, only-the-Parisians-could-be-so-severe, "Gnomes!" We like Isabella. We like her a lot!
Into the Louvre we go, where Isabella promises not only to show us great works of art, but also a McDonalds and a Starbucks! She's not kidding either. While not actually IN the Louvre, they are situated in the shopping mall attached to the Louvre. Our tour's collection of Aussies, Kiwis, Japanese, and other nationalities start eyeballing the Americans with a pitying look, as if to say "Wow, you guys just can't help yourselves, can you?" But in our defense, French authorities obviously had to ok the leasing of rental space to these companies, and what the hell is a shopping mall doing attached to the Louvre anyway?
The tour was really just a highlights tour, with the boldly stated goal of showing us the key pieces to the Louvre's vast collection. This meant we got to see the Wing'd Victory (wow... the wolves really went to town on the poor Parthenon, huh?), Venus di Milo, and a painting that almost inspired me to scream "Hey! That's the cover art to Coldplay's Viva la Vida! I know that one!" à la any less-than-cultured American. We were also treated to the Mona Lisa and the crowds in front of the Mona Lisa. The poor thing sits on a wall all by it's lonesome, which really just makes it seem smaller than it is. Which is why tourists always seem to claim it's the size of a postage stamp (it's not) and the resulting crowd is ridiculous (it is).
But the best moment of the tour was inspired by a relatively lesser known work of art. By this time we had noted the presence of a couple in our little group. Touring the Louvre was obviously not the guy's Thing, and he was there with the expressed purposed of pleasing his girlfriend. He just looked like he was dying for a beer, and maybe, just maybe, a match. No Louvre = no duty, right? Anyway, Isabella brings us to a statue that she claims has the best bum in the museum. Lying there in sculpted glory, is the most beautiful woman one could imagine.
This was clearly Aphrodite, or at the very least Helen of Troy. Someone who deserved to be worshipped on grounds of beauty alone. Isabella then said this demi-goddess was also the biggest surpise. Indeed. For when you walked to the other side of the prone form, the onlooker was greeted with... well, something that decided belonged to a male. Isabella then informed us this was Hermaphroditus. Well, we all tittered at our mistake and went to walk away. All except for the Boyfriend. He was agog. You could practically see the computer screen saying "Does Not Commute." He said as much to Girlfriend. The obviously more cultured of the two, she (and Anna) jumped in to explain that 1.) yes, this was a real condition, 2.) yes, it still happened. Boyfriend obviously thought some kind of joke was being played. Perhaps Ashton Kutcher was about to run out and yell "PUNKED!" At this point, Girlfriend (with more than a little bit of scorn) asks how he didn't learn this in college. In complete deadpan, Boyfriend announces "Michigan doesn't have hermaphrodites." Since neither Girlfriend, Anna, nor I can refute this statement, we decided to drop the whole issue. You might not be correct Boyfriend, but well played, sir!AW:
We decided to abandon the area around the Louvre for lunch seeing as it was overrun so we headed down through the Tuilleries towards the Champs Elysee. Gorgeous gardens, lots of REALLY FAT pigeons. They actually had trouble getting off of the ground (the pigeons obviously, not the garderns); we only laughed a little...I can't even describe the size of these mutant pigeons, they're about the same size as those freakishly sized ravens at the Tower of London. Okay, enough about the pigeons that you don't care about. We found a little restaurant in the Tuilleries and decided to eat there so we could continue to mock the pigeons.
With our stash secured, we continued our walk down the Champs Elysee towards the Arc to discover we would be risking our lives in attempting to cross the traffice circle in order to reach the bottom of the Arc de Triomphe so we were both satisfied with looking at it from across the street from the relative safety of the curb. We decided to wander a bit and just wandered around the streets of Paris for awhile. When we decided our feet hurt a little too much for even our comfort, we found the closest Metro station and went back to the Hostel for a nap.After our nap we headed out for dinner in the opposie direction from the night before and once again became convinced that in order to eat French food for dinner we would have to take out more student loans in order to pay for dinner, so we ate Italian, again. The place was good, not as good as Renato's. The enjoyment of the evening was capped off by the fact that France was playing Mexico in the World Cup. The entire restaurant was turned to watch the massacre unfold. We were definitely rooting for the French... however, they didn't live up to expectations. I must say, the French took the loss, and the subsequent knowledge that they wouldn't advance, much better than we thought. Thank the good baby Jesus that we weren't in England when they tied Algeria 0-0, talk about not taking it well...
Isabella's Top 5 Quotes:
5. And here, we have the best bum in the entire museum.
4. While you take a toilet break, I'll go get the tickets. I'll be back... or not.
3. Napoleon was very fond of traveling. Especially with his army. And he liked to bring back souvenirs.
2. -They're just children
- GNOMES!
1. (about Louvre security) If you have knives, guns, bombs... put them in your pocket. They check the bag, not the person.
That last one turned out to be quite true.
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