The Revenge of the Forsaken Curse

AW:

Remember in Paris how we decided to sing the refrain "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" when we got lost in the Paris metro system? Well, apparently God didn't think that was funny and decided to teach us a lesson about pretending to be forsaken. All of those lessons took place in one day.

We left bright and early at 5:45 for Venice this morning and that was the high point of the day...With the exception of something that happened to Steph...

Instead of risking our lives in a cab (which has been strictly forbidden by the parents, the risking the lives part, not the riding in cabs, except those are usually synonymous) we took the Metro to Charles de Gaulle airport. The metro uses these little tickets for entry but you usually don't need them to exit the station. When we arrived to the airport, there were these gates we had to go through. Think turnstiles with two sliding plastic doors that open and you walk through. For some reason, neither of our tickets would work to let us out. Some poor French woman finally took pity on us and suggested we follow her out. She got through, Anna got through, and part of Steph got through...The sliding plastic doors shut between her and her backpack and she couldn't move. What did I do? Help? Heck no! I laughed like a loon! It was hysterical! Here's poor Steph straining forward trying to get undone, pulling with all her might and this gentleman behind her shoving as hard as he can... I totally expected her to go flying and skid across the floor. Why oh why did I forget to pull out my camera? Steph finally got free...I'm not sure how since my tears were blurring my vision at the time. (Lesson 1: Learn how to use your metro tickets you two imbeciles)

After a short hike we finally got in line at the airport to check-in. We got to the front of the line prepared ready to get our boarding passes and get on the plane. The hitch? As the woman checked us in she asked for our carry-on bags and we showed her our backpacks. She got this look on her face like we just kicked a puppy or had killed someone.. she was shocked and couldn't even speak. All we got was "..but...but...you...but...big...it's too big...you can't take those as carry on...weight too much..." and a shocked gasp. Really, they weight too much (a grand total of 20 pounds)? And by going under the plane the weight makes that much of a difference? Since our bags weighed the same amout we volunteered to put them on different sides of the plane, but that didn't work either so we had to check our bags and off we were to Venice. (Lesson 2: Read the instructions about baggage requirements you two knockheads)

As we arrived in Venice and were about to deboard the plane, everyone (and I do mean every single other person on the plane besides us) puts on the longsleeved shirts and rain coats. Did we think anything about this? Of course not! Then we proceed to step off the plane to get on the terminal to the bus and are promptly struck by freezing cold weather and rain. What the heck? This is summer! In Italy! Its suppose to be warmer than London and Paris! Guess not...and it really helped that everyone kept pointing to our now wet short sleeve shirt and pretending to shiver or rubbing their arms. Not helpful people! Yes, we can tell we're cold and wet! Thanks for the hints! And again, the day only gets better from here. (Lesson 3: Learn to check the weather before you travel you clueless and cold ones)

After reclaiming our very small 20 pound bags we proceed outside to the water bus, and proceed, and proceed. By the time we got to the water bus we were half-way to the islands. Before we move on, let's first mention that Anna gets seasick very easily. I once got seasick snokeling in Panama. Not on the boat, but bobbing up and down in the water. Really. Remember how I also mentioned it was cold and rainy? For some reason, ocean and choppy waters due to the weather didn't cross my mind until we got to the boat. Have I thanked you enough Mom and Dad for raising me away from water? Thank you Thank you Thank you! We step onto the dock to get on the boat. Is the dock anchored? Oh no, its a floating dock... I throw down my bag and immediately begin looking for my motion sickness pills (which you are suppose to take an hour before) at the same time the captain opens up the boat for everyone to get on. As everyone else is staring me down and stepping over me Steph went ahead on the boat to get us seats and hopefully one next to the window for me. I finally found my chewable pills, choked them down (even tough they are cherry flavored they are super gross), and jumped on the boat. Steph managed to snag me a window seat and I opened it up wide letting all the cold air in. The Italian gentleman in front of me turned around and asked to close the window (I think) and then pointed to the window. As I speak about two words of Italian I very politely pointed to the window and mimed breeze and throwing up in the plastic bag I now had in hand (sound effects inculded!). He very politely nodded his head and still sat in front of me. Not quite sure he got the message I might be using the plastic bag for something other than putting trash into... (Lesson 4: I will help you slightly in not making you sick but only for the benefit of the other passengers. You will still be forsaken for the remainder of the day but I don't see why others must suffer because of you)

The sign on the boat indicated that out stop, San Marco would be about the third stop...I guess the captain decided he wanted to go the other direction. About 5-6 stops and almost an hour later we arrived at out stop in the pouring down rain. At this point in time we knew we needed to find the bridge to the other side of the Grand Canal but we didn't have a map so we just started walking, and walking, and walking (it turns out we walked in numerous circles). About an hour later, now weighing about ten pounds more than we started at due to water log, we finally asked for directions to the hotel from a gondolier. He kind of looked at us and laughed and suggested we take a boat since it was raining and then walk to the bridge might take a little while. We finally found our way to the boat to cross to the Grand Canal. About 2 steps from where we were originally let off... We're just not going to discuss that anymore. That day is done and over with... (Lesson 5: I'll teach you two young'uns about being forsaken...Take this!)

We finally arrive at the hotel about an hour and a half, almost 2 hours after we first started. We look like drowned rats, soaked to the bone. It actaully looks like we swum across the Grand Canal instead of taking a boat. To top off the day, the desk clerk looks up when we come in and simply states, "Oh, it is raining?" Just imagine the death glares that were given...

We went right up to the room, changed into dry clothes. Since it was 2 pm we decided to take a little nap. We woke up at 7am the next morning with God's lesson about not joking about being forsaken fresh in our minds.

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